The Baker Street Irregulars have been operating as a semi-official un-organization since 1886. The first, and most notable founding member Wiggins, worked for the incomparable Sherlock Holmes. The group of ragtag street urchins, roaming the depths of underground London, would rummage through toxic rubbage, infiltrate notorious crime rings, and eavesdrop on the maddening maid gossip circles— all this to retrieve vital clues for the detective. The Irregulars were, of course, paid for these services. The information solved many of Holmes cases. But due to the shoddy record keeping of the time, no “official” documents proved the existence of Holmes or, unsurprisingly, the Baker Street Irregulars themselves. So, uptight historians have deemed them fictional characters.
The art of apathetic data hustlin’ for capital dates back to ancient times. The Greek soldier Pheidippides ran a long fuckin’ way (which would later become known as a ‘marathon’) to report something or other. A tradesman known as Gaius Sneakus Carpetius was responsible for rolling Cleopatra into a rug to sneak her into the palace of Julius Cesar and again it was one of her chamber maids Noseyirfiti who first told of her escapades with Marc Antony. Also, the Italian Rigatoni uncovered the secret Chinese recipe for noodle-making who then told his more business-minded cousin Vinny Boyardee. These figures laid the foundation of the BSI. Other famous, more visible, Irregulars include Paul Revere, Winston Churchill, the Dali Lama, Rasputin, Harriet Tubman, and the lady in red. James Dean and Chester the Cheetah also had Baker Street ties. One night Edgar Allan Poe, himself an Irregular, was loitering with other BSI members. During this meeting, Poe drunkenly insulted the mother of another Irregular during a dispute, and a fight broke out. His ass was promptly kicked. Out. Frantically roaming the streets, Poe searched for his comrades. Realizing the absurdity of the situation (and the brilliance of the insult), the Baker Street Irregulars forgave Poe and reinstated his membership. He is one of the few Irregulars who was ceremoniously honored with the highest BSI distinction: dying broke and alone in a gutter (He never knew though, since that was the night of his death).
The modern day shadowy “organization” of cretins continues to operate on an extremely secretive basis. Kind of like the Freemasons, but less gay. (Not to be confused with the pansy sexist group of frouists that idolize the late Sherlock Holmes). They still maintain strong influences of a too-cool-for-school anti-establishment attitude inherited from the 1970s punk rock movement (It is estimated an astonishing 45.3% of punk rockers were affiliated with the BSI. Despite his awesome name, Sid Vicious was not an Irregular. He was actually just a really big dick). The Baker Street Irregulars not only divulge essential knowledge when appropriate but are said to safeguard many of the world’s secrets like who REALLY shot Kennedy, access to the space-time continuum, and the key ingredient in your grandma’s famous brown gravy recipe. Not only recognized for their unmatched street smarts (hence the name), these pranksters have received media attention for their stunts including the mooninite Boston bomb scare, Church of Bob phenomena, and band Abba. Current members are unknown but evidence suggests Huey Freeman, Maddox, and Banksy are all Irregulars.
The Baker Street Irregulars regularly engage in distraction thievery, consulting detection, and occasional piracy.
This website is a tool for Baker Street Irregulars to post music reviews, entertaining news updates and photos of ridiculous crap to other Irregulars. Also to inform those who have shit to do with what’s going on in the underground. But mostly, it’s used to encrypt secret code to the Electrifying Mojo. We’re hangin’…
